Friday, October 14, 2011

Trumpet Jokes


Q: What's the difference between a trumpet player and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don't know either.
Q: What do you do if you see a bleeding trumpet player running around in your backyard?
A: Stop laughing, and shoot again!

Q: What did little Johnny's mother tell him when he said "I want to be a trumpet player when I grow up"?
A: "But Johnny, you can't do both."

Q: How do you get a trumpet player out of a tree?
A: Cut the noose.
Q: What's the difference between a dog and a trumpet player?
A: The dog knows when to stop scratching!

Q: How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trumpet player's car?
A: Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.

Q: What do trumpet players use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: What's the first thing a trumpet player says at work?
A: "Would you like fries with that?"

Q: Why can't gorillas play trumpet?
A: Gorillas are too sensitive.

Q: How many trumpet players does it take to pave a driveway?
A: Seven, if you lay them out correctly.

Q: What is the range of a trumpet player?
A: It depends: how strong are you, and how much do you want to hurt him?

Q: How do trumpet players traditionally greet each other?
A: "Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."

Q: What's the difference between a jet airplane and a trumpet?
A: About three decibels.

Q: What is a gentleman?
A: Somebody who knows how to play the trumpet, but doesn't.

Q: What's the difference between a free jazz trumpeter and a terrorist?
A: The terrorist has sympathizers.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from the trumpet players.

Q: How do you get a trumpet to play triple forte?
A: Mark mezzo piano on the part.

Q: How do you get a trumpet player to play softly?
A: Take away his instrument.

Q: What's the differance between a trumpet player and God?
A: God knows he's not a trumpet player.

Q: How are trumpets like pirates?
A: They both murder on the high C's

Q: Why does a trumpet have three valves?
A: Because trumpet players can't count to four.
Tiny Tim says to his mother, "Mother, I'd like to be a trumpet player when I grow up." His mother replies "Nonsense! You're already lame!" 

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