Saturday, December 10, 2011
Area Band Audition
Area Band is a band in which students from selected schools in the area are drafted into the band and then have to audition for chairs. My audition didn't go as well as I planned. I know I could do better, but I get so anxious during auditions that I make mistakes I never even made when sight reading the music during the summer! Anyway, I earned 5th chair, so now all I have left to do is become a better musician and practice my music until there are no errors!
Friday, November 11, 2011
History Project
My history teacher has assigned a project in which we choose a topic that we are interested in and study it as it pertains to the time period we study in class! I chose music. The times are ancient Rome and Greece. Here's the link to my project:
https://sites.google.com/site/musicofancientgreek1/
https://sites.google.com/site/musicofancientgreek1/
Friday, November 4, 2011
Clarinet Jokes
Q: What's the difference between a clarinet and a mouse?
A: You can't hear a mouse squeak over the entire band!
Q: How many clarinetists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one--but they'll go through a whole box of them before they find just the right one!
Q: How do know a clarinet player is playing loud?
A: You can almost hear them.
Q: How do you get a clarinet player to play louder?
A: You can't!
Q: What's the definition of a nerd?
A: Someone who owns their own alto clarinet.
Q: What's the purpose of the bell on a bass clarinet?
A: Storing the ashes from the rest of the instrument.
Q: What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
Q: What do you get when you remove half a bass clarinetist's brain?
A: An even more gifted contrabass clarinetist.
A: You can't hear a mouse squeak over the entire band!
Q: How many clarinetists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one--but they'll go through a whole box of them before they find just the right one!
Q: How do know a clarinet player is playing loud?
A: You can almost hear them.
Q: How do you get a clarinet player to play louder?
A: You can't!
Q: What's the definition of a nerd?
A: Someone who owns their own alto clarinet.
Q: What's the purpose of the bell on a bass clarinet?
A: Storing the ashes from the rest of the instrument.
Q: What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
Q: What do you get when you remove half a bass clarinetist's brain?
A: An even more gifted contrabass clarinetist.
Q: Is there a difference between the sound of a clarinet and a cat in heat?
A: Of course, but only if the cat is in good health.
A: Of course, but only if the cat is in good health.
Q: Why was the clarinet invented?
A: To make the oboe look good, mess up someone's fingers, and to ensure that there will always be someone to steal reeds from.
A: To make the oboe look good, mess up someone's fingers, and to ensure that there will always be someone to steal reeds from.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Piccolo Jokes
Q. How do you get 2 piccolos to play in tune?
A. Shoot one.
Q: Why were piccolos invented?
A: To give the whole orchestra a headache.
There is a group of 6th grade flute players, and they are in a competition to who can get the highest note.
"Look guys, I can play a high A!" (Screeeeeeech!) "Well, I can get to high B" (Screeeech!, Any glass nearby busts) "I can play piccolo!" (Panic ensues) "Nooooo! DON'T DO IT!" "PUT IT AWAY!" "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!" |
Friday, October 21, 2011
Flute Jokes
Q. How do you know there's a flute player at your door?
A. You don't. They can't find the right key and don't know when to make the entrance.
A. You don't. They can't find the right key and don't know when to make the entrance.
Q: What's the difference between a flutist and a piranha?
A: The lipstick.
A: The lipstick.
Q: How many flutists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Six -- One to get the chair to stand on, one to stand on the chair and actually screw it in, one to pull the chair out from under her, and three more to complain about how much better they could have done it.
A: Six -- One to get the chair to stand on, one to stand on the chair and actually screw it in, one to pull the chair out from under her, and three more to complain about how much better they could have done it.
Q: How do concert band flute players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None; they ask their boyfriend to do it for them.
A: None; they ask their boyfriend to do it for them.
Q: How can you tell if a plane is full of flute players?
A: When the engines stop, the whining continues
A: When the engines stop, the whining continues
Q: Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?
A: To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.
A: To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from the flute recital.
A: To get away from the flute recital.
Q: What do you call a good flute section?
A: Impossible.
A: Impossible.
Q: Four flutists drive a mini-van off of a cliff. What is the
tragedy?
A: You can easily fit eight flutists in a mini-van.
tragedy?
A: You can easily fit eight flutists in a mini-van.
Q: Why were flutes invented?
A: To hit the person on the right.
A: To hit the person on the right.
Q: What do you have when a group of flutists are up to their necks in wet
concrete?
A: Not enough concrete.
concrete?
A: Not enough concrete.
Q: Why do flutists leave their instruments on the dashboards of their
cars?
A: So they can park in "handicapped" parking places.
cars?
A: So they can park in "handicapped" parking places.
Q: What do you call someone who hangs around a bunch of musicians?
A: A flutist.
A: A flutist.
Q: What's the difference between an onion and a flute?
A: Nobody cries when you chop up a flute
A: Nobody cries when you chop up a flute
Flute players spend half their time tuning their instrument and the other half playing out of tune.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Trumpet Jokes
Q: What's the difference between a trumpet player and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don't know either.
A: I don't know either.
Q: What do you do if you see a bleeding trumpet player running around in your backyard?
A: Stop laughing, and shoot again!
Q: What did little Johnny's mother tell him when he said "I want to be a trumpet player when I grow up"?
A: "But Johnny, you can't do both."
Q: How do you get a trumpet player out of a tree?
A: Cut the noose.
A: Stop laughing, and shoot again!
Q: What did little Johnny's mother tell him when he said "I want to be a trumpet player when I grow up"?
A: "But Johnny, you can't do both."
Q: How do you get a trumpet player out of a tree?
A: Cut the noose.
Q: What's the difference between a dog and a trumpet player?
A: The dog knows when to stop scratching!
Q: How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trumpet player's car?
A: Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.
Q: What do trumpet players use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: What's the first thing a trumpet player says at work?
A: "Would you like fries with that?"
Q: Why can't gorillas play trumpet?
A: Gorillas are too sensitive.
Q: How many trumpet players does it take to pave a driveway?
A: Seven, if you lay them out correctly.
Q: What is the range of a trumpet player?
A: It depends: how strong are you, and how much do you want to hurt him?
Q: How do trumpet players traditionally greet each other?
A: "Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."
Q: What's the difference between a jet airplane and a trumpet?
A: About three decibels.
Q: What is a gentleman?
A: Somebody who knows how to play the trumpet, but doesn't.
Q: What's the difference between a free jazz trumpeter and a terrorist?
A: The terrorist has sympathizers.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from the trumpet players.
Q: How do you get a trumpet to play triple forte?
A: Mark mezzo piano on the part.
Q: How do you get a trumpet player to play softly?
A: Take away his instrument.
Q: What's the differance between a trumpet player and God?
A: God knows he's not a trumpet player.
Q: How are trumpets like pirates?
A: They both murder on the high C's
Q: Why does a trumpet have three valves?
A: Because trumpet players can't count to four.
A: The dog knows when to stop scratching!
Q: How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trumpet player's car?
A: Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.
Q: What do trumpet players use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: What's the first thing a trumpet player says at work?
A: "Would you like fries with that?"
Q: Why can't gorillas play trumpet?
A: Gorillas are too sensitive.
Q: How many trumpet players does it take to pave a driveway?
A: Seven, if you lay them out correctly.
Q: What is the range of a trumpet player?
A: It depends: how strong are you, and how much do you want to hurt him?
Q: How do trumpet players traditionally greet each other?
A: "Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."
Q: What's the difference between a jet airplane and a trumpet?
A: About three decibels.
Q: What is a gentleman?
A: Somebody who knows how to play the trumpet, but doesn't.
Q: What's the difference between a free jazz trumpeter and a terrorist?
A: The terrorist has sympathizers.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from the trumpet players.
Q: How do you get a trumpet to play triple forte?
A: Mark mezzo piano on the part.
Q: How do you get a trumpet player to play softly?
A: Take away his instrument.
Q: What's the differance between a trumpet player and God?
A: God knows he's not a trumpet player.
Q: How are trumpets like pirates?
A: They both murder on the high C's
Q: Why does a trumpet have three valves?
A: Because trumpet players can't count to four.
Tiny Tim says to his mother, "Mother, I'd like to be a trumpet player when I grow up." His mother replies "Nonsense! You're already lame!"
Saturday, September 3, 2011
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